News Archive

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Saving the world with meals on wheels. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not …

What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Michael! Marry me. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. Afternoon delight …

Animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco. Qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Porro Quisquam Fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur? Et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit. Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia …

I have traced the Rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret base. Don’t underestimate the Force. You don’t believe in the Force, do you? The Force Unleashed In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t my idea of …

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night. That’s why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them. Natural Born Kissers A lifetime of working with nuclear power has …

Well, how’d you become king, then? Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! I dunno. Must be a king. The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! What… is your quest? Burn her anyway! Now, look here, my good man. What do you mean? Camelot! Burn her! We want a shrubbery!! Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed! I’m …